March 2011
1 post
MIRACLES DO HAPPEN*
*obviously i mean this in a really petty, vain, heathen way.
i’ve had decent skin since birth and pretty much had the face of an angel through puberty (though it was hidden by a good deal of hair and some wire-rimmed atrocities) and into my first few years of college. i may have been fat, but i had good skin. BUT THEN i turned twenty-one and my face fell off. i got adult acne. it was pizza...
February 2011
16 posts
daily dose of churchill
lady astor: sir, you are drunk. you are very, very drunk.
churchill: ma'am, you are ugly. you are very, very ugly. but in the morning, i shall be sober.
“well, i never!”
– me, yesterday at work, to a customer who spilled her entire life’s epic tale of dramatic heartbreak in three part-harmony to me.
i’ve always known that ladiez go shopping for retail therapy, but never once thought working in retail meant that i’d have to be their retail...
moreover
i measure time a lot more in experiences than in actual days, years, or months. high school may as well have been a second while college could have been years.
i met kory on a downswing. i was so sure i could never have anything good with another human being, so positive that i didn’t deserve anything. i spent the first four or five months of our relationship fighting him and what we could...
ok so
i’ve been gone a long while from this whole blogging thing. posting shit online is scary- it’s insane how fast something you write and put down from your own head can be taken up and appropriated as someone else’s. but i think that’s a danger we all face, you know?
but i’m back, i think. a little bit older, a little bit bolder- but mostly a great deal more mature....
DISASTER (i feel bougie)
two weeks ago, worst nightmare status happened @ my scalp.
after a year of procrastination, i had finally made an appointment to have my hairs TRIMMED. pretty straight forward stuff. i’ve been going to the same stylist for about three or four years, so i made the foolish assumption that she was aware of what she was doing and just asked for my hair to be cut the same length as she had cut...
January 2011
3 posts
what i'm on
current soundtrack:
price tag (acoustic)- jessie j
fade like a shadow- kt tunstall
that’s all she wrote- T.I. feat eminem
satisfied- jewel
hang with me- robyn
one- sky ferreira
get some (remix by beck)- lykke li
gone gone gone (done moved on)- alison krauss & robert plant
angel dance- robert plant and the band of joy
dog days are over- florence and the machine
the chain...
commitment
let us not lie to ourselves. i have issues with it.
but for the time being, i’m back at it. maybe in a little bit more of an adult way, but here i am.
blogging, yo
August 2010
1 post
July 2010
8 posts
eclipse review:
that was the most awkward third-wheel date situation I’ve ever had the misfortune of tagging along on.
I always forget how much those high schoolers love that full frontal snogging stuff.
kids these days.
I love you, but I can't
be in your room.
because all I can think is this:
I will not clean his room I will not clean his room i am not here to clean his room these clothes all over the floor are not dirty they are not dirty they have been washed just because you cant see the floor does not mean there are horrific bugs/critters/animals lying there in wait/mummification it’s going to be okay really it’s not...
when i was your age
- we didn’t trade tiny animal-shaped glorified rubber bands. we traded stickers. real, hard-core, collectible stickers. some of them were squishy and held real value.
- nobody’s bottom was hanging out the back of their jorts. this is because we wore pants large enough to swallow small african nations. the cargo pockets alone could hold two binders and your tamaguchi. this was...
graduation (friends forever)- vitamin c
what is...
this kleenex hand towel commercial
is supposed to make me disgusted by the notion of a re-used dirty hand towel and persuade me to purchase a box of paper hand towels instead.
im disgusted by the sight of all those paper towels being thrown away. sorry but I just can’t swallow or rationalize that much waste. when cloth towels get dirty, they can be washed. if you have a big family using...
weird
keep seeing all these unfamiliar names on my fbook newsfeed. elizabeth wright? I KNOW NOT WHO THIS IS. click through. oh wait. girl got married. that’s
UNCALLED FOR.
June 2010
52 posts
the below incident sounded hilarious until we went to go see the patient in the hospital. as men are often wont to do, our friend managed to make his injuries sound minor over the phone. they were not so minor in person.
if your friends and family tell you for two years that the girl you’re seeing is lacking in basic qualities essential to
living as a functional human being- common sense,...
last night a close friend got run over by his own boat. his leg got all mangled and caught in the boat’s propeller. he spent last night in the hospital and had surgery this morning to put humpty back together again.
wait. I forgot to mention that IT WAS HIS GIRLFRIED DRIVING.
today is their two year anniversary.
all this because the girlfriend couldn’t tell her left from her...
what I know for sure.
I will be getting married in the saint mary’s chapel.
it’s strange how I hadn’t realized the full extent to which my Alma Mater has influenced my life until these past few years.
I truly couldn’t imagine taking that step anywhere else.
deannatron-:
I try to depend on as little people or no one that way when shit hits the fan I have no one else to blame and I don’t have to wait for someone to get their shit together while I wait.
Frusterates me to no end.
everything about today= hilarious
1- I have been up since five thirty
2- I have been working since six
3- it is 2:04 pm and for the first time today, I feel sobriety is upon me.
4- I wish I could say last night was a mistake, but it wasn’t
5- key demographic: wealthy women with misbehaved children. I have lollipops. I win at this game. every time.
dvf cherry. popped. →
they say every girl remembers her first diane von furstenburg purchase. this will be mine.
i dream of you shirt, every night. yes. and you are on hold for me and come next paycheck we shall romp about raleigh. or should i say, prowl?
I need to talk about this
electrelane. I can’t stop loving you. please stop being broked up
red oak. can I get a witness? best keg of my life. I can’t even handle this.
EMILY SUSANNAH PRATT I NEED YOU
these pants are too big and I have mad smoker’s ass right now.
sold $3000 worth of merch to some lady and her sugar daddy. he paid in cash. I touched some real ass money today y’all.
my ex has an...
never, ever show up to any coughlin household before ten without the expectation that you will be put to work. because you will. because this is Cleaning Time. this is Freak Out Time. this is the Only Time In The Course Of A Day When I Can Get Anything Done.
there is yelling and running around and scrubbing and washing fuck sleeping in, there’s laundry to do! time is of the essence!
i...
andthenitsperfect:
mike posner. still not over...
kory and i are not the same person. we belong to opposing political parties, sometimes fight over the remote, and have been known to have heated debates about dinner (“kory robert I will NOT allow you to eat that!!!” vs “BUT ITS SO MUCH CHEAPER”) in the frozen food aisle of the teeter. moreover GASP our tastes in music are crazy different. it’s like my musical...
also I’m wearing jeggings, three inch heels, and an oversized plaid shirt to work today.
please file under: things I swore I’d never wear but now am, willingly.
I love you Raleigh- I truly truly do
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE CONCEPT OF A FLAT ROAD SURFACE IS SO DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO GRASP?
big girl panties
if you consistently allow yourself to be placed in a position where you are viewed as anything other than who you see yourself to be, the consequences are your fault alone.
i’m sorry, but you shouldn’t be all “oh my god i don’t understand why people see me this way! i’m so not not like that!” because hey, numbnuts, you allowed people to think of you in this...
kory’s nephew is just this side of utterly insane.
and by this i mean he is twenty-one years old, owns his own house, charges his uncle rent, feeds maintains and houses two animals he affectionately refers to as his ‘jungle cats’, holds down a full-time job and maintains a committed relationship of three years. he keeps his digs immaculate and his three cars shining like small...
commission
what no amount of schooling can prepare you for is the realization that all those tools from high school- the ‘that girl’, the bitch, the brown-noser, the snob, the social climber, the dungeons and dragons kid, the gamer, the sk8er boi, the giant dick of a human- they all grow into adults.
and remain the same as they always were.
and more than likely, you’ll find yourself...
