i measure time a lot more in experiences than in actual days, years, or months. high school may as well have been a second while college could have been years.
i met kory on a downswing. i was so sure i could never have anything good with another human being, so positive that i didn’t deserve anything. i spent the first four or five months of our relationship fighting him and what we could have had. i didn’t want to fall hard again and i couldn’t face losing anything- putting my heart up on the wall just seemed so totally beyond what i could physically and emotionally handle.
and the damn kid waited. and listened. he heard all of my excuses, he handled it when i tried to run away. he didn’t mind it when i didn’t show up and he understood when i cried.
he was everything i never saw myself wanting. a bmw mechanic, a good old boy, more southern than sweet tea and grits. more solid than a goddamn rock. the kid figured out everything about himself i’d questioned about myself years ago. he wasn’t “figuring things out” he simply was who he was and was happy with that.
we are such totally different people that we had to carve out a space for one another, had to discover new things to explore with each other. we have our own “things” we enjoy and love and talk about together, and politics doesn’t ever have to be one of them (and for those of you who know me HOW MIND BLOWING IS THAT???)
and a year in, i fell in love. not with the idea of someone, not with the experience of someone, not with the future of someone- but with him. and now, two years in, i couldn’t imagine myself with anyone else.
next week is our two year anniversary and just about every day for the past few weeks i’ve found myself wondering how i got to be so damn lucky. two years, dudes. it took me that long to learn how to read. intense.
February 09, 2011, 9:16pm Comments
